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Former English footballer Clarke Carlisle opens up about his battles with depression, suicide attempts, and gambling addiction, now advocating for mental health awareness in football.
Clarke Carlisle, once a promising English footballer, has spoken candidly about his battle with depression, gambling addiction, and multiple suicide attempts. The 45-year-old former Leeds United and Burnley defender, once hailed as England’s "most intelligent footballer", is now advocating for mental health support in professional football.
A life-changing moment
After retiring from football, Carlisle worked as a Champions League pundit on British television but lost his job. Struggling with gambling addiction, he lost his life savings in a casino before attempting suicide by jumping in front of a truck on the A64 motorway.
"I jumped in front of a truck after gambling away my savings. Now, I’m just grateful to be alive," Carlisle revealed. He suffered severe injuries and was airlifted to a hospital in Leeds.
Following the incident, he was admitted to a psychiatric facility in Harrogate, where he remained under strict suicide watch. He was discharged months later after doctors deemed him stable enough to continue his life.
Years of struggle and recovery
Despite treatment, Carlisle suffered a relapse seven years ago, disappearing for days before being found wandering the streets of Liverpool.
"I was planning to take my life. I wandered the streets, wondering where would be the best place to die," he recalled.
However, he managed to postpone his decision long enough for others to intervene and help him.
A new purpose: Helping others
Now, Carlisle and his wife Carri run mental health workshops and online courses, supporting others struggling with suicidal thoughts.
"I’m proud to say I haven’t had a depressive episode in years. I haven’t needed medication for three years. I’m better than ever," said Carlisle, who later became Chairman of the English Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA).
Football, mental health, and the need for change
Reflecting on his playing days, Carlisle admitted that his self-worth was tied to match results.
"If we won, I felt great. If we lost, I felt like a terrible person who had let everyone down – which made me feel like a bad father, husband, and brother," he said.
He also acknowledged the stigma around mental health in football.
"I avoided medication because I thought, 'I’m a man and a Premier League footballer.' I didn’t realize my thoughts were dangerous."
Despite his struggles, Carlisle avoided substance abuse, believing that if he had turned to drugs, he "wouldn’t be alive today."
A call for action
Now, Carlisle is calling for an independent body to oversee footballers' mental health in the UK. He continues to raise awareness, particularly on Mental Health Awareness Day, acknowledging that he still suffers from PTSD around the anniversary of his suicide attempt.
"Most people don’t want to die, but some feel like they can’t live like this anymore. Our goal is to help them, and I am proof that recovery is possible. You just need to talk to the right people," he concluded.