Nicklas Bendtner (foto: Official TW/IG/FB account)
Nicklas Bendtner is a name that most football fans, especially those who follow European football, will never forget.
The lanky Danish striker, best known for his time at Arsenal, never quite fulfilled his potential on the pitch, but his off-field antics have made him one of the most outrageous characters in football history. If there was ever a player who made up for his missed chances in front of goal with shocking scandals, it was him. Some might even argue that these two things were connected...
From blackmail over breast surgery to dating a baroness and even brawling with taxi drivers, Lord Bendtner’s life has been anything but dull.
The Early Days: Arsenal, Love, and Strip Clubs
It all started in 2005, when a 16-year-old Bendtner joined Arsenal’s academy. Even as a teenager, he showed signs of trouble. He skipped school classes by hiding in the women’s toilets, eavesdropping on conversations in a bizarre attempt to “understand what women want” and “find true love.”
His antics only escalated when he joined Birmingham City on loan. With his newfound fame and fortune, the young Dane spent five nights a week in strip clubs, a habit that infuriated his coach, Steve Bruce. When Bruce confronted him, Bendtner responded coldly:
“Boss, that's a notorious lie. I don’t go four nights a week. I go five. Let’s stick to the facts.”
Bruce, momentarily speechless, turned a deeper shade of blue, fearing for his heart. But Bendtner wasn't done causing chaos. He bet £1,000 with teammate Gary McSheffrey that he could take Amy Bruce—Steve Bruce’s daughter—out on a date. He won the bet, but the gamble turned into true love, much to the dismay of her father.
As if that wasn’t enough, Bendtner lost £400,000 in a single night at a casino, then wrecked his Aston Martin in a high-speed crash. Desperate, he even sought help from a witch doctor, who told him that his jersey number 26 was cursed. His solution? Doubling it to 52—because why not?
Fights, Affairs, and Sex Addiction
Back at Arsenal, things didn’t improve. He got into a fight with Emmanuel Adebayor after a humiliating 5-1 defeat to Tottenham, had countless affairs, and developed a serious addiction to sex.
He later admitted on a British talk show that he and a teammate once brought five women to a hotel and had an orgy by the pool. When Arsène Wenger asked about his bruised knees, he sarcastically replied:
“I was praying all night for a good result.”
Bendtner’s chaotic personal life reached new heights when a woman threatened to expose her pregnancy unless he paid for her breast augmentation surgery. He gave in and paid, but the ordeal made him lose trust in relationships. From then on, he only dated prostitutes, claiming they were "more honest."
A Baroness, Heartbreak, and a Return to Steve Bruce
Despite his wild reputation, Bendtner somehow wooed Danish baroness Caroline Luel-Brockdorff, and the couple had a son. But, as expected, they split up soon after.
Just when things looked bleak, Steve Bruce called him again. But this time, it wasn’t to yell about his daughter—it was to offer him a move to Sunderland.
“You and Amy are in the past. I need a striker. Come play for me.”
Surprisingly, Bendtner performed well, scoring goals and staying out of trouble... for a while.
War with Taxi Drivers and a Prison Sentence
Then came the infamous Copenhagen taxi incidents.
In one case, a taxi driver reported that Bendtner approached his car, took off his pants, started rubbing against the vehicle, and screamed:
“Move me to that beautiful car!”
A few months later, Bendtner got into another taxi brawl when a driver charged him six euros for a ride. He found the price "too expensive" and punched the driver in the head, earning himself a 50-day prison sentence.
A Failed Comeback and Retirement
After serving his sentence under house arrest, Bendtner attempted one last comeback by signing for FC Copenhagen. Fans were ecstatic, and his shirts sold out in record time.
Then, a training video surfaced—showing him repeatedly missing an open goal with no goalkeeper in sight. Fans' enthusiasm quickly disappeared.
After just six matches and one goal, Bendtner retired mid-season, telling his teammates:
“Guys, I can’t do this anymore.”
Life After Football: Reality Shows and Pranks
Officially retired, Lord Bendtner remains as eccentric as ever. He now hosts a reality show, where he pranks celebrities, proving that some things never change.
The Legend of Lord Bendtner Lives On
Was he a football prodigy who lost his way? Or just one of football’s most entertaining disasters? Either way, Nicklas Bendtner’s story is one for the ages.
Love him or hate him, one thing is for sure—there will never be another Lord Bendtner.